Przy piwie MS Office - Help desk

[Paweł Tołoczko]

luser: “Hi, the import macro is broken”
helpdesk: “Did you rename any of the worksheets in your excel file?”
luser: “Well, yes…”
helpdesk: “Ok, did you see the big warning in red letters that says DO NOT RENAME OR DELETE THIS WORKSHEET on top of each sheet?”
luser: “Well, yes…”
helpdesk: “So why did you rename them…”
luser: “Well… You know… So, um… What do I need to do now?”
helpdesk: “Rename them back?”
luser: “Ok, I’ll email you the file and you do it for me cause I don’t know how to do that”
helpdesk: *shoots self*

luser: “Um… Is there a way to make Word recover a document that wasn’t saved?”
helpdesk: “Not sure what you mean… What happened?”
luser: “Well, I was working on this file, then I closed Word and it asked me if I want to save changes so I clicked no. Now all my changes are gone. I lost 6 hours of work.”
helpdesk: “Why did you click on no?”
hluser: “Um… Because I realized that I forgot to save the document and wanted to go back to do Save As”
helpdesk: *bangs head against the keyboard*

Advanced Internet User

Dramatis personae: me, two other developers and one marketroid.
Scene: Marketroid tries to download pictures from the interwebs

Marketroid: How do I download this?
Me: Use the download link… I mean…
Developer 1: ALT+F4
Developer 2: Yes, what he said.
Me: Yeah, Alt+F4 will work too.
Marketroid: Agh! WTF! You guys are assholes.

[Assholes share a heartfelt laugh]

Marketroid: Why is this thing so slow?
Developer 2: Because you are using Internet Explorer.
Me: Also, I think your computer has been with the company longer than any of us.
Marketroid: What is wrong with Internet Explorer?
Developper 1: ಠ_ಠ
Me: Sigh…
Developer 2: This guy is worse than my girlfriend…
Developer 1: Stop being a girl, and use a normal browser
Marketroid: Ok, how do I…
Me: Ctrl+W
Marketroid: Is it going to close the window again?
Developer 1: No, this is legit.
Developer 2: Yes, we just found out your are a girl, and we don’t pick on girls.
Marketroid: Ok… WTF! Shit!

[Coffe cup toast of triumph and one awkward high five]

Marketroid: Ok, now this is telling me I need to log in with LIVE account. What is LIVE?
Me: It’s Microsoft’s attempt to re-brand Hotmail.
Developer 1: Yeah, it’s like – it’s still Hotmail, but people won’t laugh at you when you email them.
Marketroid: What’s wrong with Hotmail now? I use it for my personal email!
Me: Oh god!
Developer 1: [facepalm.jpg]
Developer 2: Dude my grandmother uses Hotmail. You don’t use Hotmail! You just don’t.
Developer 1: Sop being an old lady!